Both/And

In life you often have to choose one or the other. You either take this job or that job. You either name your child this or that. You either join this church or that church.

But sometimes you get to have both/and.

One of the most perfect inventions of all time, for example, is KFBell - both Kentucky Fried Chicken and Taco Bell under one roof! Or, slightly more seriously, you might get both medical insurance and a Christmas bonus.

Both/and is a good thing, but often a rare thing.

I've got a situation in my life and I'm not sure I can have both/and...

As I have been spending the last few months searching for the church that the LORD wants me to serve at, I've had plenty of opportunities to answer questions from pastoral search committees. Some pretty basic ones: "describe your conversion experience". Some pretty interesting ones: "list the last five books you've read". I've had phone calls, letters, and more email than should be allowable by law! But through it all, I'm increasingly finding myself torn over one particular both/and.

I am a certified Fundamentalist on many doctrinal levels. I'm a Dispensationalist (and not even a Progressive one at that!). I will die for the doctrine of inerrancy. I do not believe the "sign gifts" of the early church are applicable today. I do not believe women should serve as pastors/elders. I believe in a literal Tribulation and Millennium. I've taken 4 semesters of Hebrew and 9 semesters of Greek. In many ways, I'm as conservative as they come.

But I'm also very sympathetic to the crisis of Postmodernity. In fact, I identify myself as more postmodern than modern. I'm interested in the historic spiritual disciplines (like silence, for example). I'm vastly more missional than traditional in my view of how we "do" church. I'm perfectly comfortable with mystery - in fact, I rather like it. I recognize that there simply must be more to the Gospel than merely a message of personal salvation. I think we must do a better job of caring for the creation God left in our charge. In many ways, I'm a liberal (at least from the perspective of my IFCA and GARB friends).

The fact that I'm even willing to interact with the emerging church, postmoderinty, missional thinking, and newer philosophies of ministry scares many churches away from seriously considering me.

The fact that I believe doctrine is important, that doctrinal distinctives cannot and should not be shoved under the carpet, that particular hermeneutical principles are worth fighting for, and that Greek and Hebrew are highly valuable languages to understand makes me anathema to others.

But I want both/and on this one. I want both orthodoxy and orthopraxis. I want both good doctrine and good community. I want both serious inquiry and a willingness to stand on the shoulders of those that came before us. I want to be both relevant and Biblical.

I want both/and.

I refuse to play the "game" of making myself out to be something I'm not. I guess that's the postmodern in me coming to the fore - I've gotta keep it real!

Pray for me, guys. I've said many times that my present path is one of faith and patience. Right now I need a good healthy infusion of both in my life; I'm starting to feel a bit weary...

But I refuse to give up on both/and.

Hatushili